The tough get going.

And the weak blog.

At least, I do. I am weak.

As above.

At this point in time, if BFF was in s’pore, she would be smacking my head in real life and wailing at me, “You are just trying to screw things up for yourself again!”

The reason?

I’m starting to have a bad attack of commitment phobia.

It’s barely a week into the relationship and I’m actually considering not contacting the bf for a couple of days, so that I can unwrap my thoughts off him, but this course of action wouldn’t be kind to either of us.

Analysis of commitment phobia components:

66%   I don’t want to be like my mom.

20%   I don’t want to be like my father.

7%     I don’t want to have to live up to my expectations of his notions of who I am.

4%      I don’t want to lose sight of my personal goals and plans.

3%      I don’t want to be in a funk just because he isn’t available for me for that moment.

*Clutches head.*

We were reading passages from Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit and I would jot the words that they mispronounced, and get everyone to read the words out aloud. After 2 hours of standing and tapping my marker pen on my white board, I asked my students to take over.
The results were hilarious! They refused to let me video them.

They mimicked my mannerisms and how I speak. Got chided by their peers for pronouncing the words wrongly. The male students were flirty. Am I??? The girls were coquettish. Not me!!

Some were spot on, others got it all wrong.

Still laughing hard even as I type this.

for a guy that I didn’t think I would fall for.

SK: Eva dear, let’s meet for tea tomorrow and tell us about this guy

Eva: okie!

SK: It’s so sudden. Is he some fat chinese guy or what?

Eva: Nope, J.O.’s ang moh. (Hokkien dialect for Caucasian)

SK: Goodness! Is he thin then?

Eva: Yes

SK: Tall?

Eva: Yup

SK: Thin, tall and ang moh. OMG, that’s so not your type!

Eva: Yea, and he’s actually not bad looking too.

SK: *Gasp* He must be a really nice guy then.

Eva: Yupz, so I guess that ultimately makes him my type.

And not a feminist mentor for sure.

More about it to come.

[Over MSN Chat]

Eva: Hullo

Ex-colleague: Hey Eva, so I heard from X that you missed me.

Eva: hee….

Ex-colleague: Is it true?

Eva: hehe… actually, yes.

Ex-colleague: Awww… so sweet that you missed me.

Eva: Yup… I sorta miss having my fanboy around.

[End of extract]

Eva : O

Ex-colleague : O

There are a couple of old love songs lodged in my soul. Each with their bit of sweet history.

A couple of them sound best ’round midnight, especially if you are sipping from a mug of baileys with warm milk and cuddled against something (yielding/breathing/muscular). You decide.

Presenting my fave 5…

#1 – Fred Astaire’s Cheek to Cheek

We were at the intersection of Orchard Road and Scotts Road. Before a glittery spangle of an ION was erected. Before the advent of late night shopping and 24-hour MacDs. Just groups of late night loiterers in their teens and tweens on the streets. You were strolling next to me and we were in a celebratory mood. One of us had just wrapped up an SYF production some hours ago. Yes, we were worn out and we had school tomorrow. Yet we traipsed down Orchard Road instead of returning to bed. There was a pleasure in seeing the thoroughfare transformed into four lanes of quiet, walking past shuttered shops, stepping onto the leaflets’ shadows cast by angsana trees. If either of us cared for a dance that night, the whole street was ours.

#2 -Tony Bennett’s Till

Made me feel old before my time.

#3 – Astrud Gilberto’s A Certain Sadness

Looking out at the golden pinpoints of lights of the Singapore’s west coast where the ships were docked for the night with the scent of tobacco flower perfume and smoke lingering in my cosy dorm room with Astrud Gilberto on repeat. The room itself lit by the glow from the lamp under my bed.

#4 – Connie Francis’ I Will Wait for You

From the episode of Futurama’s Jurassic Bark, a classic melody entrenched within a classic comedy.

#5 – Bryan Ferry’s In the Mood for Love

Played in the opening credits of WKW’s cheongsam-laden movie In the Mood for Love, Ferry’s rendition makes it a little easier for a damsel to swoon into the arms of a brooding Tony Leung.  Since the movie, my sibling has gotten his spouse donned in a cheongsam. Sadly for me, I missed the chance to marry Tony Leung.  D;

I wonder what are the 5 love songs that always gets you in a sentimental mood.

A girlfriend of mine said that she shed a tear on her birthday this year when she realised that it was the first time her mom did not wake her to bless her and plant a birthday kiss on her. My friend moved out of her parents’ home after her wedding earlier this year. When her mom called to wish her a happy birthday, she told her mom about what she realised and both the women had a teary moment together over the phone.

“I made my mom cry, but in a good way, I guess.” she cheerfully related.

I didn’t hesitate to add, “that’s why I keep mentioning that you have one of the most wonderful moms.”