bosom buddies

Eva: Hey, my breasts are getting bigger.

Blossom: Oh, what did you do?

Eva: Put on weight.

good doc / not-so-good doc

I must have coughed out a rice-bowlful of phlegm throughout thurs night. Woke up repeatedly to spit out the phlegm. Even breathing was an effort.

I called in sick and managed to sleep though the morning. Saw a new doc in my neighbourhood and was flabbergasted when I was charged $48 dollars for a consultation that lasted less than 3 mins.

He asked less than 10 qns and did only 4 examinations. What a rip-off! I tried to reject the antibotics to reduce the cost but he refused.

When I went home, I got back online and raged abt the consultation fees to my faction mates. Zac sweetly suggested that we should go lvling at the doc’s clinic. Definitely~ Growl*

***

Last night, I had dinner with A & A. When we were done with dinner, I felt a pain in the center of my chest. Hmmm… indigestion? Coincidentally, A was having indigestion that afternoon and we had medication on hand, so I took a dose.

3 hours later, the pain was still present. I went to bed, hoping to sleep the pain off but still the discomfort refused to bugger off.

When I woke this morning, my chest was still hurting. So I dragged myself down to my usual doctor.

There was no clear diagnosis for the pain at the moment, but he listed some possibilities:

1. the muscle was cramping due to stress.
2. possibility of heart-burn & gastric
3. fracture or hairline crack in my ribs due to the coughing and sneezing
4. heart-attack

On hearing the 4th, I bleated, “but my heart is on my left, Dr Sim.”

“Yes, but the pain could start from the centre. Anyway, since you are young, the probability of a heart-attack is low. We’ll have to monitor you and send you for an x-ray if the pain persists.”

The good soul examined me thoroughly and prescribed medication for the pain and charged only $24.

Thank you, Dr Sim.

***

When I left the clinic, I whimpered on the phone to Cat.

Cat: It’s prolly not a heart attack lah, dear…

Eva: Yeah, but just in case anything happens, can u do me a favour if I conked off?

Cat: Okay. What?

Eva: Make sure you get to my room before my family does and remove the sex toys.

***

Updates:

Revisited the doctor this morning as there was still some pain. The pain has been rediagnosed as gastric reflux. Okiz dokz! And I’ll only be back at work on wed… Great!

Eva & the Chinese Man

After shots of lao-lao (whiskey from sticky rice), cocktails and Beer Lao as always…

Female ang-moh backpacker: How long is a Chinese man?

Eva & the Belgian Zero

Belgian Zero: Is that a camera phone you’re using ?

Eva: Yup. it’s a Samsung. It’s pretty handy.

Belgian Zero: Oh wow… let me use it for a while. (Turns away as he fidgets with Eva’s phone.

Eva continues conversation with someone else.

Belgian Zero (turns back to Eva and waves phone in an excitable manner): Look here Eva! Don’t you just love this? You want some of this, don’t you? You know you do…

Eva (stares for the peekture on her phone for a couple seconds before scorn creeps all over her face): Just delete the damn pic now. I’ve seen better. Much better. And give me back my phone. (rolls eyes)

Eva : Belgian Zero

1 : 0

Eva & the Belgian Hero

Belgian Hero: Eva, in Belgium, when we drink, we say ‘Skål!’ So, Skål!

Eva (distracted by another conversation): Skål…

Belgian Hero: No, Eva! You have to look me in the eye when you say ‘Skål’ or you’ll have seven years of bad sex!

Eva (turns to look at Belgian Hero): Na… It’s only seven years. I’ve had three years of bad sex, what’s another four years?

Belgian Hero (gaps in disbelief): Hey everyone, did you hear what Eva said? (turns back to Eva, links arms with her & trains a steady gaze at her eyes) Skål!

Eva (grinning bimbotically): Skål!

Eva & Beer Lao

2/3 of a large beer lao bottle later, I heard myself giggling at everything Mc said.

Eva: Mc, I want you to know that Beer Lao is good for you, it makes you 300% funnier.

Pause.

Eva: No, wait. It makes me think you are funnier. You’re not really funny actually.

Mc: But I’m not telling jokes!

*Giggles again*

my slutberry nights

Guys, guys… if you were an ice-cream, what flavour would you be?

Oh Eva, I’m sure you would be slutberry.

addictions

Rufus Wainwright & I obviously had have some issues with addictions.

Check out his problems with cigarettes and chocolate milk:

For those that can’t be bother to hear Rufus lisp through the song, here are the lyrics:

Blythe doll

Why don’t you brush my hair instead?

Because you’re not a Blythe doll.

I’ll be plastic for you then. I’ll keep my limbs stiff & still.

Eros: Wong Kar Wai’s The Hand

Tried to recall a tune from wkw’s Chungking Express. Could remember neither the singer nor the song’s title. Googled “songs chungking express”. Got to wkw’s wikipedia page. Found song. (Things in Life by Dennis Brown) Search song on youtube. Listened to song and continued reading wkw’s wiki entry. Noted wkw’s new movies in 2007 & 2008. Realised that he filmed ‘The Hand’ for Eros in 2004.

Searched ‘The Hand’ in youtube.

Watched the first segment and my mouth went very dry.